


There was still hope

by gnarf



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Ambushes and Sneak Attacks, Angst with a Happy Ending, Animal Attack, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Depression, Flashbacks, Guilt, H/D Hurt!Fest 2020, Hate Crimes, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Needles, Secret Relationship, Self-Hatred, St Mungo's Hospital, Suicidal Draco Malfoy, Werewolves, self inflicted starvation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:54:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25472701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gnarf/pseuds/gnarf
Summary: Draco winced as pain shot through his leg with every step. This secret, back-alley laboratory had been his last chance, last hope, to find the potion. But nobody had it in stock, and there was no time left to brew it himself.Panic was slowly overtaking his entire mind as he crept out of the store and back to the nearest alley to Apparate back home.He already felt off, and it was still early in the day. Of course this thestral-shit had to happen to him, of all people. As if life wasn't bad enough for him already.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 31
Kudos: 189
Collections: H/D Hurt!Fest 2020





	There was still hope

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to my lovely beta drarryismymuse 💜 thanks for taking care of this hot mess
> 
> And thank you lovely mods who organised this madness of a fest that will most definitely cost me what is left of my emotional stability.

Draco winced as pain shot through his leg with every step. This secret, back-alley laboratory had been his last chance, last hope, to find the potion. But nobody had it in stock, and there was no time left to brew it himself.

Feeling his hands tremble, he opened the door that led him back to the front of the shop: a nondescript clothing store that didn't attract a second glance, perfectly covering the less savoury activities in the back. He had about ten minutes left until the Polyjuice wore off, so he really needed to hurry and get home. He'd be doomed if people knew he was begging for Wolfsbane Potion; people already thought bad enough of him, there was no need to make it even worse. 

Panic was slowly overtaking his entire mind as he crept out of the store and back to the nearest alley to Apparate back home.

He already felt off, and it was still early in the day. Of course this thestral-shit had to happen to him, of all people. As if life wasn't bad enough for him already.

Some days, even getting out of bed felt like too much. After having nightmares about the war all night, seeing people die in front of him over and over again, he would simply refuse to get up, the Dark Mark on his arm too heavy, the scars on his body feeling like fresh wounds again. Thinking about it, he should have known that this would happen. It was the last bad thing that hadn't happened to him yet. 

Wincing, he leaned against the wall in the alley. What now?

He had to get home. He needed to soundproof his apartment and put all the locking spells he could think of on his windows and door. He couldn't risk getting out of there at night. Not now, not ever. Next month would be less dangerous. He would have time to brew the potion by then. But, in a couple of hours he'd be a threat to everyone. A monster.

Taking a deep breath, Draco forced himself away from the wall and Apparated back home. There would be time to panic later, now was the time for action.

* * *

_Draco heard something behind him, he felt panic rise as he turned around and found himself in front of a massive, madly grinning man holding an injection needle in one hand, a wand in the other._

_There was no time to react before he found himself in a body bind and unable to move._

_The man bent over him, and spit into his face before slicing open his trouser leg._

_"Took me five years to make this, lad. After your friend Greyback bit my son I had to find a way to make all of you pay for it. Seeing that not many of you are left, I decided I'd start with you."_

_Draco tried to fight against the_ Petrificus Totalus, _to no avail. Tasting blood in his mouth, he tried to scream, but no sound escaped his throat._

_"There's nothing you can do. You fucking Death Eater scum. But hey, I'll tell you what's about to happen: only you need to suffer for this, I don't want to harm innocent people. Not that you'd care, I know you lot enjoy making people suffer."_

_Draco heard the sound of the needle being uncapped, the lid dropping to the ground, while tears blinded him. He didn't enjoy others being hurt, he never had. He had to be there, in the centre of the war, there was no alternative for him. Draco wanted to tell him, but he couldn't. He wanted to beg for the man to stop whatever he was doing. Wanted to beg for mercy, for his life._

_"See this lovely needle, lad? It, sadly, won't be as painful as an actual bite. My son cried for a week—he couldn't stop. The pain was too much. His first transformation was gruesome. You can't imagine how it feels to watch your child go through this, every month, for the rest of his life. So I got to work. I took blood samples while he was in his human form and in his wolf form, I searched for something that'd heal him. I didn't find that, but what I found will give me some kind of satisfaction at least."_

_Draco felt a sharp pain pierce his leg and heard a sick sigh of satisfaction._

_"I hope that didn't hurt too much?" The man laughed darkly as he returned to Draco's view. "The real pain will start tomorrow, once the infection spreads. And in two days you'll know how my son feels every month. Have fun with it."_

_The man stood up and aimed a kick to Draco's head that made him pass out instantly._

* * *

Shaking, Draco wrapped the blanket tighter around himself as he stared at the clock in his dimly lit living room. He knew the sun was going down outside even though he couldn't see it after barricading his windows. 

He was scared. His whole body hurt and he hadn't stopped shaking since he had sat down an hour ago. The pain in his leg was increasing by the minute. His blood felt like ice, sluggishly pumping through his body, and yet he could feel the lick of fiendfyre coursing through his veins. And it all spread outwards from the point where the injection had punctured his skin.

Draco had read about werewolves in Hogwarts, but there hadn’t been much about the transformation itself. They only covered the basic information and that was it.

Just as he thought he was about to go insane from the pain, it started to get even worse. He rolled himself into a ball and screamed, tears streaming down his face. He was burning alive, all sense of time and space were lost in this unbearable feeling of agony. Anger started rising in his chest, flooding his mind, pushing all other emotions out. 

The last thing he was aware of was his bones rearranging themselves, feeling like they were breaking and stretching to make him fit into his new form, all while he still burnt alive.

A loud howl ripped through the darkness of his flat.

* * *

* * *

_Out. Not locked up. He needed to get out. Hunger. Pain. Anger. More. There had to be more outside this prison._

* * *

_Anger. There was not enough to destroy. Pain. He wanted to run. The walls didn't give in. No way out._

* * *

_Scent. There was suddenly a new scent. Fire. Then a voice. Prey. He could hear the blood rushing through its veins. Careful. Sneaking closer. Too easy. The prey is distracted. Time to strike._

* * *

_Blood. Life trickling out between his teeth. Less resistance with every gurgling breath. Success._

* * *

* * *

Draco woke up in his kitchen, his clothes hanging in loose strips from his aching body. He was glad to see he hadn't found a way out of his flat, even though it looked like he had tried his best.

He felt tired and sick. His limbs were weak as he tried to get up from the floor. 

Looking down at his hands, he noticed the blood covering them for the first time. 

Panic spreading through his body, he scrambled backwards until his back hit the wall behind him. 

Why was he covered in blood? He couldn't feel any wounds on himself, which could only mean…

Looking at the floor, he saw bloody paw prints, obviously having walked a restless path between here and somewhere else in his flat. Jumping up, Draco sprinted to his sink and got sick. Washing whatever this was down, he started to scrub the blood off of his hands and then washed his mouth, feeling the world spin as his hands came back covered in blood again.

Feeling like his legs wouldn't be able to support his weight much longer, he felt his way along the wall, following the bloody prints to the living room.

When he saw the body lying there in a puddle of blood, Draco broke down. 

He couldn't see the face, couldn't see if they were still alive or not—he only saw blood. And a body that shouldn't be there. He had been so careful, he’d warded everything. Nobody should have been able to come through.

Except—

Suppressing a sob, Draco crawled closer. Harry was in Australia, he had gone there with Granger and Weasley. He wasn't supposed to be back before next week. It couldn't be him. But _he'd_ be the only one his flat would let through, even with his wards up.

As he got closer, Draco started to make out more of the damage he had done last night.

The body had multiple gaping wounds all over, the clothes ripped open in more places than he could count right now. Feeling a sharp pain cutting through his palm, Draco looked down at his hand.

Broken glass next to an empty frame. Harry's glasses, covered in blood. 

He wasn't supposed to be here, why did he come back early? Letting out an animalistic scream, Draco threw himself over Harry's lifeless body.

This couldn't be true. 

Suddenly, there was movement underneath him. Barely noticeable, only a slight twitch, followed by a weak gurgling sound. But still enough to realise that Harry wasn't dead yet, that there was still hope for him. 

Stumbling to his Floo, he threw a handful of powder into it and screamed the address of St Mungo’s and cried for help, backing away when the Healers came rushing in to get Harry. 

They were gone in seconds. And then he was alone again in the darkness of his flat, drenched in Harry's blood. 

* * *

_"We'll tell them when I come back, yes? I'm tired of sneaking around."_

_Draco looked over at Harry, his heart beating fast at Harry's words. "Really? But what if they—"_

_"I don't care. I've had enough of us being a secret. I love you, Draco. And I want everyone to know. We'll tell them. And they'll accept it."_

_"Okay."_

_Harry rolled over until he was on top of him and leaned down with a huge grin on his face as he kissed Draco._

_They had been dating for a few months now, and things were perfect. At least they were now, after their first hiccups while working through their past._

_Hugging Harry close, Draco smiled into their kiss._

_Harry loved him, and he loved Harry. What else could matter?_

_They'd be fine. He was truly happy for once, and nobody could take this from him._

* * *

Draco felt like his life was running by while he sat immobilized in his bedroom, days passing like mere seconds.

He had dragged his exhausted body to bed and cast so many _Scourgify_ charms on his skin that it was left raw and open, but he didn't care. He couldn't bear the thought of even one drop of Harry's blood remaining on his skin. He didn't even know if Harry was still alive.

It had been two weeks since the full moon, two weeks where he had done nothing but stare at the ceiling in his dark bedroom. He had ignored every owl, had blocked his Floo, and refused to answer the door even though Pansy had been there every day, knocking and screaming for hours. He didn't care. Draco was a threat, a monster. He had probably killed Harry; everyone was better off without him. 

Lying down, Draco started to cry again. He had shed so many tears that his eyes wouldn't stop burning and his lips were chapped, increasing the pain haunting his body. He deserved it. All of it. Deserved to never be happy again. He had destroyed the one good thing in his life.

His stomach hurt, and Draco rolled himself into a small ball to breathe through the cramps. He hadn't eaten real food ever since it had happened. Just the thought of eating anything at all was revolting at this point. At least St Mungo's had sent him a batch of Wolfsbane, making sure he wouldn't kill any more beloved heroes. Draco was honestly surprised that the Ministry hadn't sacked him yet.

Closing his eyes, Draco fell back into his fitful sleep, waiting for more days to pass. Waiting for the moon to be full again, so his looks would match his monstrous personality. 

* * *

"You can't be serious, Harry! He nearly killed you! You've just got out of the hospital! You can't go back to him!"

Harry stared Hermione down, not backing off. He wouldn't give in to them, no matter how hard they tried to reason with him. Draco hadn't been trying to kill him, he hadn't been himself when it had happened. Over the past weeks, he couldn't help but worry about him. According to Hermione, that was ridiculous, seeing that he spent most of it almost dead in a hospital bed.

Something must have happened to Draco while Harry was in Australia, and he hated himself for not being there to help him. He wasn't mad, only worried.

"It's not his fault. He definitely wasn't a werewolf when I left. And I wasn't supposed to be back for another few days. I shouldn't have gone to his place without calling him beforehand. And since he's not answering any owls, I'll pretend I haven't learned from my previous mistake and will go there."

"He's dangerous, Harry!" Hermione cried, but Harry only huffed.

"If he's dangerous, then I am too. We're the same now. If you'd excuse me, I have to go and find my boyfriend."

Pushing his way past Hermione, Harry left their home and Apparated straight to Draco's. He had tried to Floo in, but found it blocked. 

Once there, and not to his surprise at all, he found Parkinson hammering on Draco's door, demanding to be let in.

"May I help you?"

Parkinson jumped into next week, and Harry couldn't suppress a chuckle. 

"What are you doing here, posterboy? And what happened to your face? It looks like it's missing a few essential chunks here and there."

"You're such a decent and caring person, I'm truly amazed," Harry huffed. "Had a meet up with a werewolf, it's not just my face that is missing a few chunks. But nothing to worry about. You haven't seen Draco in the last few weeks, right?"

"No. I'm not sure if he's even alive, but his wards are too strong. I can't get through. What does it matter to you, anyway?"

"We've been dating for a few months and I haven't heard anything from him since I ended up in St Mungo's. I was released an hour ago, so I decided to come here and take his walls down, if necessary."

Parkinson looked more shocked at the news that they were dating than to the fact that Harry had been attacked; which, on second thought, really shouldn't have surprised him.

Stepping back, she shot Harry a quick nasty glance. "Tell him to owl me, I'll kill him if he doesn't. If he's locking himself in his home because you got hurt, you have to be the one to talk to him."

At that, she turned and left Harry alone in front of the door to Draco's flat.

He tried knocking, and calling for him, but it was to no avail. The room behind stayed silent.

Sighing, Harry looked around. There was nobody here, if he could hurry and fix everything before one of Draco's neighbours come to check what the noise was—

After dismantling as many of Draco's spells as possible, Harry looked down at his shaking hand. He hadn't done any magic in weeks, and this was already harder than he had expected. The door wouldn't budge, not even to the special spells he had learnt over his years as an Auror, so there was only one thing left he could do.

Aiming his wand at the door, he cast a _Bombarda_ on it.

Hurrying inside, Harry fixed everything quickly before someone could see it.

Once that was done, he turned around and cast a _Lumos_ so he could see in the dark flat.

There were traces of bloody paw prints all over the floor, and Harry shuddered thinking about Draco. Not because he was a werewolf, but because he hadn't even managed to clean anything up in the last three weeks. And it _really_ looked bad.

Passing the living room, Harry saw a puddle of dried blood on the floor, probably the place he had landed after Draco had jumped at him from behind.

"Draco, love? Are you okay? It's me," Harry called into the darkness as he slowly made his way to the bedroom.

There was no answer.

Pushing the door open, Harry's breath caught in his chest. Draco was in his bed, his face ashen and thin. Too thin. He looked bad, worse than he had ever seen him. But, at least he was still alive.

"Draco..." Harry fell to his knees beside Draco's bed, trying to assess the damage. 

* * *

Draco heard the explosion at his front door. He couldn't wait for the Ministry to finally take him in. 

He had to blink against the light only a few moments later, but to his surprise it wasn't the Ministry. Harry's face was looking down at him. Or rather, what was left of it. It was worse than the scars on the other Weasley's face. But not as bad as Mad Eye Moody.

Letting out a relieved breath, Draco closed his eyes. He didn't care if Harry was there to kill him for what he had done, the only thing that mattered was that he was alive.

* * *

Draco woke up three days later. In a bed in St Mungo's.

Harry hadn't left his side since he took them both there after finding Draco close to dead in his bedroom.

The Healers had done their best, but if he was going to recover, it would be up to him. They had told Harry that they weren't sure if he'd make it. So he had stayed, and hoped, holding Draco's hand and telling him how sorry he was.

When Draco opened his eyes for the first time, Harry burst into tears and pulled him into a tight hug, not giving Draco a chance to say even a single word.

He already knew that Draco hated himself for what he had done, but that discussion could wait. He wasn't mad at him, he never would be. Harry knew he had no control over his transformation. Harry had seen it happen with Remus.

Pulling Draco into a kiss, Harry felt all the stress from the last few weeks evaporate, leaving nothing but bliss.

He didn't care how long it'd take them to get over this. They had managed to get through a war and all of its fallouts, this was just another rock in their path to their happily ever after.

Laughing at the thought of the ring waiting in his luggage, he pulled away from Draco.

Stroking a tear from Draco's cheek, unsure if it was his or Harry's, Harry smiled.

"I love you."

**Author's Note:**

> Remember to leave some love for the creator if you can! Come reblog this work and view others from this fest [HERE](https://hd-hurtfest.tumblr.com/) on the H/D Hurt!Fest tumblr page!
> 
> I would love it if you leave a comment or kudos for my fic 💜
> 
> [Visit me on tumblr!](https://gnarf.tumblr.com/)


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